A Presidential Debate Big Food, Big Garden, Big Life

right here in Mississippi and you missed it!

[I do so wish I were certain that my computer– not this one I’m using– had dried out because I have a wonderful photo to go with this post. Mr. Big Food and I are in the middle of a nasty streak of computer problems, so I cannot risk introducing this computer– Mr. Big Food’s Big Food Computer– to my camera.]

The debate was sponsored by Students for Ron Paul and by Student Democrats and featured student stand-ins for Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, and Barack Obama. Newt Gingrich was notably absent because was giving a speech in Jackson this evening. Really. No stand-in was available.

You should have seen them! All the candidates were gussied up in suits and ties, except for Stand-In Rick Santorum, a last minute volunteer who only had time to run home and grab a starched white dress shirt to threw on over his T-shirt. Still, it was a good look for Santorum: jeans, boots, and his starched Sunday go-to-meetin’ shirt. All he needed was a spit cup and he’d really have been a man of the Mississippi People. He was on fire when Mr. Big Food asked about the Heller & McDonald decisions. To paraphrase, “Here in Mississippi we love our guns.” He blushed a bit when Mr. Big Food interrupted and said, “They love them in Pennsylvania, too.” Last-Minute-Santorum-Stand-In recovered well.

Stand-in Romney had a similar slip. “Oh! That’s me, not Romney.” Slips are revealing. Stand-in Romney had personality and conviction.

All of the not last minute stand-ins had clearly studied their candidates– with respect to both platform and presence. Stand-In-Paul was the best with respect to platform– which shouldn’t surprise since he organized Students for Ron Paul. I thought his response to an audience member’s question– if you cut the budget, what’s going to happen to all of the people who rely on social programs, and who is going to build roads?– was astute. Part one: When so many people are relying on federally funded social programs to survive, something’s wrong that needs to be fixed. Part two: The only reason states get federal money for roads is that drinking age thing. (He was more articulate about this.)

Stand-In Obama won on presence. It took me a while to figure out that he was the Student Democrat. He presented a perfect caricature of Obama. “Call me the ‘Food Stamp President.’ I’d rather be called that than the ‘I Died from Starvation in the Street President’.”

Really, I thought it was a joke. I first thought he was a stand-in Republican plant– comic relief.

Sadly, he represents Student Democrats. And does so wonderfully.