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So a country bumpkin vegetable farmer walks up to a Genius Bar…

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without an appointment!

What a joke!


[Background: The “help desk” in the back of an Apple Store is called the “Genius Bar.”]

The country bumpkin is ignored beyond her tolerance level for poor manners from Geniuses and finally secures an appointment for later in the day. (The bumpkin can read a calendar even if it is on a iBigDealNew FangledThing. The Geniuses’ dance cards were not all that filled.) She returns at the appointed time, waits, and meets “Kyle,” her personal Genius.

Kyle turns on the bumpkin’s computer, sees the screen of vertical pink lines, sees the little wheely thing time out, and frowns. He then removes the battery so he can get some numbers, which he plunks into his cool iThing, and informs the bumpkin that there’s probably a PROBLEM with the screen or the graphics card– or both– and that, unfortunately, the graphics card is the most expensive thing to replace. $1200. Might as well buy a new i.

The bunpkin says to the Genius, “I know this is a goofy question, but sometimes when my (not i) phone messes up, I take the battery out and wait, and put it in again, and like magic! POOF! things are o.k. Do you– as the Genius– think that might work, since you just took the battery out?”

And the Genius says, “No.” And launches into some iGenius Talk. But the iGenius is Fundamentally a Nice Guy and so he hits the button and LOW! AND BEHOLD! The bumpkin even made him do it twice to be iSure her computer was working.

The iGenius had never seen such a thing.

And then the bumpkin took the iGenius’  advise and went post haste to the nearest Best Buy to buy an $89.99 external hard drive to back up her iHarddrive on her iComputer that her iGenius said was iDead.