“Whether you are a Democrat or Republican or whether you’re libertarian or whatever, you are the best.”
This one is partially correct. While Democrats are clearly the best, a broad consensus exists within the scientific community that Republicans are intrinsically evil and that most Libertarians are just pot heads.
To be clear, neither Mr. Big Food nor I is a pothead.
UPDATED: Do read the whole thing. It’s funny! [Sorry ’bout that. Getting ready for Game Day!]