For My Fellow Grammar Geeks

[If you need to catch up on the Mississippi gun kerfuffle, here’s an introduction.]

Please disregard the semantics of this sentence and look at the syntax. Then try diagramming it. 

I urge all Mississippians to carefully consider the great public danger and destruction of lives that lies before us if our state does not consider any and all laws that allow anybody to walk around in public with loaded guns  strapped to their waists.

Pared down (to help with the diagramming): 

I urge Mississippians to consider the danger and destruction that lies [agreement?] somewhere IF our state does not consider laws that allow anybody to walk with loaded guns strapped to their waists [agreement?]

What a terrible sentence.

And now to the semantics. In no particular order.

a) Dude. The state did consider it. It considered it in 1890 where it made explicit citizens’ rights to carry and the state’s right to regulate concealed carry. It considered it again in 2013 when it clarified “concealed.” Walking around with a gun strapped to my waist is something I do all of the time. Although, “strapped” is not the verb I’d use.
 2) Also on this year’s legislative docket was an attempt to increase the speed limits on certain interstates and highways by about 5mph. It didn’t pass. But here’s how the reasoning would go, had it. I, a law abiding citizen– we know this since I’ve passed an FBI background check— routinely go 5mph above the speed limit.

[Hey. Mr./Ms-Low-Man-on-the-Totem-Pole-Who’s-Tasked-with-Reading-My-Little-Blog. I don’t want to hear crap from you about that. You keep that to yourself or I will stop posting photos of the girls dogs.]

By this guy’s reasoning, had I been permitted to drive 75mph, rather than 70mph, I would poof out of the blue and against all reason taken to driving 205mph. He’s making an assumption about giving inches and taking miles that is foreign to me, so I can only assume he’s talking about himself.

III) Out of what formerly law-abiding woodwork does he think these dangerous and destructive elements are going to crawl? We’re not talking about injecting new rouge openly carrying people into Mississippi. We’re talking about Mississippians. He’s suggesting a clarification of law will lead to a radical change of Mississippians’ individual behavior. As in the mph non-change, I don’t see it. 


As you may infer, I’m pretty ticked off. We walked up to the door of the Piglet– the little Piggly Wiggly Grocery Store which is a Proud Sponsor of Our County’s 4H Shooting Sports– yesterday to shell out our weekly average of $118 (up 21% over last year, but that’s another post) only to find we were prohibited from entering. 

No Guns.

No money. 

I went in to talk to Roy at the Piglet today, but he’d left already. Then I went to the gun store. Bought some .357.