Royally Ignorant

The Little Prince has arrived!

I happened to be driving around in the truck listening to various satellite radio folks opine on the blessed event. 

Good Lord.

Before I begin my rant in earnest, I’d like to note that the birth of The Little Prince shouldn’t be a surprise. There is some forewarning with respect to births of commoners and royalty, alike. Even if you expected a Little Princess, as a “journalist” you had time to prepare– i.e., read a spot of history– for the Little Princely contingency. 

But instead, you, the journalists who where there at the hospital were caught unaware.  And so you cobbled together the most unintelligible Royally Ignorant strings of gobbledygook about something happy and decidedly apolitical I’ve heard in a long time.

To paraphrase what I heard:

Isn’t it wonderful that two people who are so in love… .

Little Prince will be raised as Kate was… .

A close loving family… .

William calls Kate’s father “Dad”… .

Poor Diana… .

And Little Prince’s name? 

Queen must approve… .

Historical significance… .

Familial significance… .

“George” is naturally a forerunner in the betting. George is, of course, King George VI, Queen Elizabeth’s father. George never wanted to be king. He was thrust into the throne when his brother, the former King Edward VIII, ran off with that woman, the American divorcee, Mrs. Simpson.

He did not “run off” with that woman. 

What a profoundly and Royally Ignorant thing to say. 

Prince Edward, Formerly Edward VIII, A Farewell,  December 10. 1936

At long last I am able to say a few words of my own. I have never wanted to withhold anything, but until now it has not been constitutionally possible for me to speak.

You all know the reasons which have impelled me to renounce the thrown. But I want you to understand that in making up my mind I did not forget the country or the Empire, which, as Prince of Wales, and lately as King, I have for twenty-five years tried to serve. 

But you must believe me when I tell you I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love.

This decision has been made less difficult to me by the sure knowledge that my brother, with his long training in the public affairs of the country and with his fine qualities, will be able to take my place forthwith without interruption or injury to the life and progress of the Empire. And he has one matchless blessing, enjoyed by so many of you, and not bestowed on me– a happy home with his wife and children.


God save the King! [1]

According to a very quick perusal of the entry on Edward VIII in The Encyclopædia Britannica: A New Survey of Universal Knowledge (1955) [2], Prince Edward spent his entire life preparing to be King. By the time he assented to the Throne, he had personally visited just about every star on the Empirical Flag. 

When all is said of the value of King Edward’s intimate knowledge of foreign courts and of his personal popularity in foreign capitals, it is essential to insist that he undertook no formal negotiations, nor did he act except upon the advise of his ministers. While helping to win for his country a high place on the councils of the world, he kept careful watch upon the course of events at home.

And you, Royally Stupid Fox News Contributor who didn’t know an heir to the British Thrown was about to be born and thus didn’t have time to read an encyclopedia entry on George and his brother Ed tell us that Ed ran off with that woman. And that’s why The Little Prince should be named “George.” 

I think they should name the kid Ed. 

There’s more in the encyclopedia entry about the part the US press played in all of this.

I’m searching my memory banks for my closing line. 


Jane. You royally ignorant slut. 

[1] Ashley H. Thordike, ed. Modern Eloquence Volume X: Historical Masterpieces European. P.F. Collier & Son, New York. 1941

[2] The Encyclopædia Britannica: A New Survey of Universal Knowledge.Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., Chicago, London, Toronto. 1955