In response to the age-old headache of tiny temper tantrums La Fisheria, a Mexican restaurant in Houston, has instituted a “no customers under 8 after 7 p.m.” policy. Some parents told CBS 2 that they understand.
1. Why 8? What’s the plan, Stan? Are you planning on carding kids who look younger than 8? What sort of ID will suffice? A report card? Will you need to hire a bouncer?
“Sometimes you think they’re going to be good and they are. Sometimes they’re not and there’s nothing you can do about it, and it’s embarrassing,” Meredith Boysen said.
B. Well, yeah. You should be embarrassed if you– as the parent— think “there’s nothing you can do about it.” Here’s what you do when little Johnny misbehaves in a restaurant. You pick little Johnny up by the scruff of the neck, taking care that his flailing little legs don’t kick another patron or knock something off a table, and you haul his butt outside where you proceed to whack it once. Good (based on Johnny’s size). You then grip his little shoulders, look him straight in the eyes and say, “Johnny, that behavior is unacceptable and unbecoming. We are going back inside. You will sit quietly at the table and eat your meal in a manner which will make me proud. Do you understand?” If he says anything other than, “Yes, sir/ma’am” you put his collar on, hook up the leash, and tie him to the lamp post.
Others said that the policy punishes parents.
“It would definitely limit our options,” Erin Davidson said. “We need to get out of the house.”
iii. I can appreciate that sentiment. You’ve had years– possibly as many as 7 & 364/365th years– to teach your child(ren) how to behave properly in public when you need to get out of the house with your child(ren). What were you doing instead during all of those years?
Bobby Marisi, the owner of Vincent’s Clam Bar, said that he keeps kids happy with table games, and welcomes them into his restaurant.
“We need to nurture children and teach them how to eat out and be in an environment that’s outside the home with family,” he said.
4. That’s nice. But who is this “we” of whom you speak, Bobby? It’s not my responsibility to teach someone else’s kids how to behave in a restaurant. It’s not yours, either, Bobby. But I do appreciate the games and crayons. That’s nice.
The owner of La Fisheria said that he instituted the policy following complaints from a number of patrons who were bothered by loud children.
E. Here’s an idea. Embarrass the parents of loud children by kicking them out! In front of the complaining patrons. “Excuse me. If you can’t control your dog kid, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave. Your dinner– or what you’ve managed to eat of it– is on the house. Good evening.” How hard is that?
And I’ll go you one further because I bet there are still some parents out there who care about such things. Kick out the people who don’t lower there voices so the children can’t hear the cuss words! Ha.
~~
Mr. Big Food and I are going out to dinner this evening. There will be children and I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts they will be perfect little ladies and gentlemen.
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