Hey Nick S–

I like you just fine. I’ve liked your teams. But Alabama fans do not “work” for you. You have your directions mixed up. I grant that there are “fans” out there who don’t have brains, I am not one. You blew this all by yourself. As a fan, you work for me. And you are fired.

Seriously. What a monumental screw up. And now listen to ESPN spin. “You had a bunch of lineman trying to run him down.” Right. Lineman. Sure, they may have thought you were looking to fake. But let’s look at this as we did as we watched the game. Go into overtime. Yes. That would have upset our dinner plans. But you would have won. But no. You opt to try a FIFTY-SEVEN yard field goal. Kicked by a red-shirt freshman. Are you insane? Have you lost your marbles?

And what universe am I living in where I am hearing, “But Florida State’s still gotta beat Duke.” DUKE?? Duke! Duke football. As I type “D-U-K-E F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L” my fingers freeze up. And the only thing I can think of is how pissed off Coach K and those lacrosse fellows must be.  Duke is about B’ball, not football, and false accusations, vis-a-vis the lacrosse fellows. 

I said to Mr. Big Food just an hour or so ago, “If you’d have told me, fifteen years ago, that Duke beat Carolina in football, I’d have said you were crazy.” Of course, in 1998, I didn’t fully appreciate how crazy thing were going to be in 2013.

And Missouri just beat Texas A&M. Another dose of fresh hell.

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Tomorrow, me & the truck & I are going on a pilgrimage to the woods. I will take Missy. We will gather things for a delightful holiday potpourri, and some kindlin’ wood. 

And just for good measure, I will take my cowboy rifle.