“I take it that post title refers to me?”

“ruff??”

“Indeed it does, Missy! You were a much better girl today than your were yesterday. Thank you!”

“I find your tone condescending, Marica. Another day I might not, but today I do.”

“Ruff??”

“Why, Missy? I just mean to let you know I appreciate you not misbehaving today as you did yesterday.”

“And I certainly appreciate your appreciation, Marica. Thank you.”

“RUFF?”

“Missy! What in Heaven’s name is wrong, girl?”

“ruff.”

“Oh.”

“‘Oh’ yes, poor me. But I’ll tell you, Marica, you have no idea what it’s like to have this sort of responsibility thrust upon you. I had no desire to be the leader of the pack and now here I am leading my little pack.”

“And doing a fine job of it, I must say!”

“ruff.”

“Thank you , my Dear Friend. You have been most helpful. But Marica, it is embarrassing when you reprimand me in front of the others as you did yesterday. How am I to maintain my status as leader if you embarrass me like that?”

“Um. Missy. You put your paws up on the counter and then you nosed off the foil from the tube pan and then you ate three-quarters of an orange pound cake that was supposed to be our morning coffee snack until this weekend AND THEN YOU ATE JORDAN’S PLATE OF CARNITAS!”

“I love Mr. Big Food’s carnitas.”

“RUFF!!”

“Nice try. You behaved horribly. You know better.”

“But Marica, my dear, I am The Leader of my newly formed pack. Haven’t you seen them? I like, do what I want and then I play with them. When I want. I felt entitled to a little sweet treat and some meat. I am, after all, The Leader”

“RUFF!!!!!!!!! ruff? … ruff?”

“hello. i know i’m new here but i wonder. … ”

“Oh! Please do speak up, Gil! Join in!!”

“ruff!”

“Please do. You have my permission.”

“RUFF!!”

“Missy!! I’ve had about enough of this. I’ve got a crappy old book or two about arrogant leaders and their just deserts and I’m going to send you to your box with those… ”

“pardon me, ma’am, but there’s no need to place missy in solitary confinement. she’s made a simple mistake.”

“Well, Gil, if you think you can talk some sense into her, go for it.”

“Ruff.”

“See? I don’t know why everyone is against me. Marica just said leaders get desserts. No one else seemed to be eating the cake at the time so I took my share. I left some.”

“r.u.f.f.”

“missy?”

“Oh my stars! Look, Marica! Gil has come to sit at my feet!!”

“missy. you need to get over yourself. you made a mistake.”

“I?”

“ruff?”

“yep. you didn’t mind your manners. no one who hasn’t been invited just walks up to someone else’s plate and eats all his carnitas. I don’t care what his or her status is, that’s just bad manners.”

“ruff.”

“So true. So true.”

“Well. Please excuse me, it’s getting on toward my bedtime. … Marica, may I borrow this “War and Society in Revolutionary Europe, 1770-1870” crappy old book? I feel like reading a little before I turn in.”

“Of course, girl. G’night.”

“Good night, Marica. Good night, Dear Old Friend. Good night New Friend.”

“rrrrr…rrruuu…uuuuufffffffff……….ffffff”

“peace & love, sister.”

~~

“Anyone heard from Tiger lately?”