Mr. Big sent me an article yesterday with the subject line “the return of the primitive.” He should have said, “the return of the idiocy.”

The article, Cool Your Home Without Air Conditioning, was originally published in Popular Science. It is very much like all other PS articles that I happen upon. Its tone is tedious; its content, lacking in substance unless you happen to be an idiot. To whit:

In meteorological terms, humidity is the amount of water vapor the atmosphere can hold. 

No. In 8th 7th grade science terms… . (I do not like to make unsubstantiated claims. That’s why I had to correct myself.)

Please note that the crappy old textbook does not conflate “humidity” with “relative humidity” as the author, Dan Seitz, does.

Here’s a real jewel:

“A lot of warmth comes into your home via sunlight.” What an odd word to use there, “warmth.” Stupid sentence all the way around.

I have gotten the blind-curtain-drape thing– which is not really controlling the rays, now is it?– down to a science. Which means I have actually tested the hypothesis they can keep a lot of heat from entering the room.

The J-Man knows I like gadgets. This is one of the most awesome he’s given me. A bit ago, when the sun was shining directly on an east facing window, I checked the surface temperature of a bookshelf next to the window, and a window sill behind blinds and drapes: 76° and 103° respectively. Now that the sun is overhead they are 77° and 89°. Lotta warmth trapped behind those blinds and drapes.

It was the next paragraph that really got me, though.

• Correct. Color matters. I invite you to take a look at the lining of my thermal lined drapes. Should you not be inclined to drive all the way to Mississippi, please consult any online retailer to determine the lining’s color. Want to take a guess what it is?
• “We see color because that particular wavelength of light bounces off an object.” That’s some technical language right there. Plus, it’s not really the mechanism– “we see color because”– of color perception but we’ll set that aside. Absorb, transmit, reflect.
• “red, orange, and yellow deflect the most warmth” Huh?

The backs of light blocking and thermal drapes are white. Idiot.

More idiocy:

“When things feel miserably humid, a few dehumidifiers can make a room much more comfortable.”

Four paragraphs down, “On a blazing day, you’ll want to limit the sources of heat in your home.”  Guess that generates heat? A few dehumidifiers.

~~~

Okay. I wrote that yesterday during a couple of cool-off breaks. Time to stop obsessing about idiocy and get to work before it gets too hot.