Draft.

The Companion Book to Miss Missy’s School

“Introduction

“Some of your new friends from Miss Missy’s School have foibles— a minor failing of their actions or characters. For example, Missy is a very well educated canine with an extensive vocabulary. But sometimes she doesn’t choose the word she thinks she means. When she says, “sublemonal” she knows the word she wants sounds like sub + the name of a citrus fruit, but she chooses the wrong fruit! She wanted to say “subliminal” as in something was sub + lime. 

“On the Farm, we calls these mistakes, “Missy-isms.” Often Marica corrects Missy-isms, but Marica isn’t always around, and when she isn’t, it falls to Dear Friend Rocky to correct Missy. But the problem is, although Rocky has a very large mental vocabulary, his spoken vocabulary is literally one word! 

“I don’t want you to make the same silly mistakes Missy makes. For each chapter, The Companion Book contains a glossary of Missy-isms along with the correct vocabulary word, and what both words really mean, if the Missy-ism is a real word and not just something Missy made up. There is also a list of what the particular variations of “ruff” mean in case you can’t figure it out in context.

“Gilbert has two foibles. You may have noticed that he likes to say, “As someone once said…,” but he never tells us who said what! The Companion Book does tell us who said what, and a little bit about the person who said what. Gil’s other minor flaw is that he’s sometimes stuck in his old hippy days of the 1960s. That’s not a problem for the People on The Farm— some of whom were alive in the ‘60s! And some of the words and phrases Gil uses mean the same thing as they did way back then. Everyone knows what “cool!” means. But did you know that when he says something was “outta sight” he doesn’t mean you can’t see it. He means something is so great and wonderful he just can’t believe it!

“Bebe’s excitable personality, and Tiger’s perrrfectly prrredictable foible are well known. Aubrey is ‘practically perfect in every way’ but she sometimes does jest a little bit speak with jest a little bit of a Southern accent. Which is just fine because we all know what she means. These things don’t need to be in The Companion book. Little Tommy is too young to have any foibles. But you just wait for the next book about Missy and her pack!

“Another thing you may have noticed is that the People and Animals who live on Farther Along Farm have a healthy appreciation for the old things and ways. Some of these you have probably never heard of!

“Marica! Sorry to interrupt but seriously?” 

“Hey, Missy! What’s up?”

“Marica, you know perfectly well that one does not end a sentence with a preposition! Especially one which will be read by impressionable children.”

“Missy don’t be such a scold. ‘You have probably never heard of some of these old things and ways’ is much too cumbersome and clumsy.”

“Well, that’s just fine. But don’t forget, I know who your editor is and she’s not going to let you get away with that. Now— do you know where the shorthand dictionary is? It’s not on my desk!” 

“I think it’s sitting beside the typewriter.”

“Oh! Right! Thanks.”

Sorry about that. Missy is such a stickler for good grammar! Now, where were we? Old things and ways you’ve probably never heard of— like shorthand and typewriters! Those things, too, are explained in The Companion Book.