From one of the worst children’s books I’ve ever read, The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide (2003).

1. Does that look like a low ceiling to you?
2. I have first hand knowledge of what “walls covered in bookshelves” look like, and this ain’t it.

I feel sorry for kids today.

I did something I think I’ve done only once in the past, and that was to leave a review on Goodreads.

The only reason I didn’t give this book 1 star is because it does not have swear words. And if I’m not mistaken, industry standards for middle school books would require that it not, so that’s not saying much.

1. I understand that there are bad parents out there. If you strive to be a good parent, the only reason to encourage your child to read this is that he or she will perhaps give you a hug and thank you for being such a good parent. I am the mother of three (now grown up) kids and I cannot imagine treating one of them so differently than the others, even if the one was ill behaved. The premise is that the mom is newly divorced, and the one is having a hard time adjusting. Mom takes no personal responsibility for this. She only threatens to make him go “see someone” if he doesn’t shape up.

2. Absolutely buy this book if you want your kid to develop an ear for poor grammar. Or, buy the book and a red pencil and tell your kids to go underline anything that doesn’t sound right to their ear.

“It was a smallish library, with one huge desk in the center. On it was an open book and a pair of old-fashioned, round glasses… .”

If that sounds correct, rearrange the words of the second sentence. An open book and a pair of glasses was on it. Should be were. How does this get past an editor?

3. There are so many internal inconsistencies it’s mind boggling. Mom goes out, after the kids are in bed, to get milk and cereal. Leaves older sister in charge. [Very poor planning on Mom’s part but whatever.] Later, the kids hear “the rustling of bags downstairs as mother unpacked groceries.” She went to get milk and cereal! How hard would it have been to just change that to groceries?

4. Finally, and as with #1 I get that kids talk to their brothers and sisters in not nice language and push each other around. And I know I’m being very old fashioned here. But shouldn’t children’s books INSPIRE or at least encourage better behavior and vocabulary? Shut up. Crappier. Grabbing by the shirt. Just because you have one black eye doesn’t mean I can’t give you another.

Again with the book and the red pencil. What could they have said/done differently?

So lots of reasons to buy this book. None of them good.

Really did not care for it.