Masterpieces of Humor

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Our Daily Readings have been on a roll lately.

Everything Washington Irving (1783-1859) wrote is simply wonderful. What a writer! There are so many great stories in addition to those he’s remembered for today. “Wouter Van Twiller” is hilarious. Old Wouter was a real person, so this is humorously biographical. “The Voyage” is an account of his travel to Europe:

To an American visiting Europe, the long voyage he has to make is an excellent preparative. The temporary absence of worldly scenes and employments produces a state of mind peculiarly fitted to receive new and vivid impressions. The vast space of waters that separates the hemispheres is like a blank page in existence. There is no gradual transition by which, as in Europe, the features and population of one country blend almost imperceptibly with those of another. From the moment you lose sight of the land you have left, all is vacancy, until you step on the opposite shore, and are launched at once into the bustle and novelties of another world.

at Archive

Reading Thomas Jefferson’s (1743-1826) recollections of the process of writing the Declaration was fascinating, especially since his memories do not cohere with others’, notably Adams’.

Robert Browning (1812-1889). Wow. He wanted to lead a “life of pure culture,” and with Elizabeth, he did.

Lord Thomas Babbington Macaulay (1800-1859) is a bit dry but what would you expect from an English statesman of the time?

Last evening’s reading was from a forgotten soul, Frank R. Stockton (1834-1902), an American humorist who unlike other humorists of the time did not write in dialect. He was a gifted short story writer, and Archive is littered with his work, if you’re interested.

We found this to be especially entertaining, probably because the dilemma of finding someone to take care of the farm, Rudder Grange, resonates with us.

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Yes, it is

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and it’s stupid.

I have no problem with fashion and decorating fads (though those geese from the 80s hung around way too long). But this is really dumb. What is the point? Is it to give the shelves a monochrome look? Are you embarrassed and want to hide what you read? Or do you just have no backbone and are afraid to say, “No. That’s stupid”?

Hope your weekend is shaping up well.

From Powerline’s The Week in Pictures.

Grilling & Gymnosperms

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Hard to believe it’s been so long since it was established. Hard to believe it’s been so long since we took the sign down and moved it from Cincinnati to Mississippi. This is the month that we recall what we had to do in order to be able to grill out in March in Cincinnati–which was not frequently. Now I sometimes put on a sweater before I go to the patio. A lot less work than trying to heat up the Shack (our affectionate name for the Synaptic Jct.) with the chiminea, dressing in layers….

Pleasant evening yesterday. It was a bit on the breezy side, but that did not deter Mr. Big Food from building a nice fire and grilling burgers.

This is the pine behind the workshop.

Such an interesting sight I got the real camera and put on the zoom lens.

Zoom in if you can. What you see in addition to the female cones (typical pine cone) are the male cones– the squiggly little messes. They have already begun shedding pollen–and as you can see there’s going to be a *lot* of pollen. The cones that look mature are–if I recall correctly–last year’s cones.

There’s a lot going on in the pine behind the workshop.

Book stack

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The list, if you can’t read the titles. More on those I haven’t already talked about below–along with a conundrum.

  • Threading the Rude Eye
  • English Grammar for Students of Latin
  • The Secular Lyric in Middle English
  • Harvard Classics final volume with indices
  • Thema
  • The Discarded Image
  • Story First
  • Notes towards the Definition of Culture
  • Confessions and Self-Portraits

Threading the Rude Eye is not the sort of fiction I typically read. But the author, Stanley Wheeler (to whose newsletter I subscribe) is an online pal and a good writer. The premise of the book is interesting. It’s set in an alternative history of the American Revolution, and is first in a series. What is different about the series is that there are magic, paranormal, and sci-fi elements woven into the historical story. I’ve just begun reading and am enjoying it so far.

Thema is a literary journal I subscribe to. I recently submitted my short story, “Alice’s Lives: A Reverie of a Certain sort” to it. We shall see how it goes.

Story First: The Writer as Insider (1982) is a how-to book. I’ve skimmed through it. My take is that it’s a book developed from a course on creative writing. So-so in my humble opinion but worth a few minutes.

I think I mentioned the score on that last volume of The Harvard Classics volume 50 (1910).

TLDR. I know. So let me pull out a sentence.

So that the mind shall be enriched, refined, and fertilized…

Which brings me to the conundrum–which in the technical sense of the definition isn’t really a conundrum at all:

1. A kind of riddle based on some fanciful or fantastic resemblance between things quite unalike, forming a puzzling question, of which the answer is a pun or involves a pun. 2. An unanswerable or purely speculative question.

Webster’s Collegiate (1953)

The answer is not a pun. But the question is, should I start up another newspaper column on books and literature?

Mississippi’s grade school reading scores have improved considerably–mostly because we went back to teaching phonics. In our county, for the 2022-23 school year, 83.6% of third graders passed the proficiency test. This is way above the state average of 76.3%. So kids in the county can read. Good job!

But are they on their way to becoming literate?

As you can see, it takes more than just being able to read and write to keep one from being illiterate.

I’ll think on it. Current thought is that I’d get more out of it any anyone who took the time to read my short essays.

Grand Diplôme Asparagus with Melted Butter

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We do not have an asparagus cooker. 🙁

Special asparagus cookers are available—tall, narrow pans with an inner basket. The asparagus stems are placed, cut ends down, in the basket and the pan is filed to a depth of 1-2 inches with water. This way the tough asparagus stems cook quickly in boiling water, while the delicate heads are done more slowly in the steam at the top of the pan. If no asparagus cooker is available, any tall pan such as the base of a double boiler can be used.

—Grand Diplôme Cooking Course, vol. 1 (1971)

GRAND DIPLÔME ASPARAGUS WITH MELTED BUTTER

2 lb fresh asparagus, hard bottom stalks trimmed away and left standing in a bowl of cold water until ready to cook (“to be sure all stalks are the same length, cut them while still tied in a bunch”), rinsed well in cold water, lower parts of stems scraped thoroughly with a vegetable peeler to remove outer skin, tied in several bunches, bunches stood stems down in an asparagus cooker or tall saucepan in 1 to 2 inches boiling salted water, covered and simmered 8 to 10 minutes or until upper stems are just tender, bunches lifted carefully from pan and drained on paper towels, arranged on a folded white napkin on a hot platter, string from each bunch cut and removed.

½ C (1 stick) butter, melted “but do not let it get too hot and oily,” skimmed well

Pour skimmed melted butter in a hot sauceboat and serve with asparagus.

Goops

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Gelett Burgess was the author of our daily reading recently and I came across this in the biographical reading.

I thought it was cute as the dickens.

Wonder where that phrase came from?

Daily Reading Together

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We began our little journey though the Pocket University’s Guide to Daily Reading on February 1, and except for a couple of days when we were in New Orleans, we’ve kept it up.

Have I mentioned our routine? Early in the morning, I look up the author(s) of our daily reading(s) in one of Kunitz’s biographies. These are monumental works with fairly well-balanced critical notes. They are all from the ’50s & ’60s, so no presentism nonsense. I’m keeping a list of authors with a few notes.

We do the reading–starting with a skim of the biography–at the kitchen table after Mr. Big Food has made our supper salads. More than once we have uttered the words, “people just don’t write like this anymore.”

One of the interesting things about this exercise is that the Guide to Daily Reading was first published in 1917, so there’s a ~50 year gap between the Guide and the biographies. The oldest authors represented in the readings are from the mid-1500s. It’s not especially surprising that some of these very old authors have been forgotten. But what is a bit jarring is how many of those from the 1800s have biographical notations such as, “he is little read today,” or “unfortunately he has been forgotten.” Obviously, not all authors can continue to be part of the canon, but some lost writers have written some pretty good stuff.

It isn’t just the writing that’s gone missing–the times have been lost as well. Sure, sure. You read all about how ordinary people lived in the past from the five volume set, A History of Private Life (1988). But that’s not quite the same as reading what people wrote about (fictitious) life at the time.

Along that line–the humorous pieces from the 19th century are especially amusing. The more things change…

I have a question

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This is not *always* true, but it’s true enough times to be worthy of posting. I will offer one correction. Should be:

FAILED attempts to look clever

And to be honest, there are not nearly as many personal attacks as indicated–at least not at the conferences I attend.

From Powerline’s The Week in Pictures

Easter Salad

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EASTER SALAD

Serves 6

2 Tbsp unflavored gelatin
3 ½ C chicken stock (can use stock from cooking chicken below)
Salt, pepper
Hard-cooked eggs, sliced
1 pimento, cut into attractive shapes
Sliced cooked chicken, skin and bones removed, white and dark meat kept separate
Tomato aspic, chopped (one simple recipe below, or search your cookbooks)
Watercress, chopped
Mayonnaise
Olives, chopped

Soften gelatin in ½ C of the cold chicken stock for 5 minutes. Heat remaining stock to boiling, add salt and pepper to taste, add gelatin mixture, and stir until dissolved. Strain mixture through cheesecloth and chill. When mixture begins to thicken, use to glaze a mold, with this jelly about 1 ½ inches thick at bottom of mold. Dip hard-cooked egg slices and pimento shapes in liquid gelatin, and place in bottom and sides of mold. Arrange sliced cooked chicken in alternate layers of white and dark meat in mold, fill mold with remaining gelatin mixture, and chill until firm. Unmold on platter garnished with watercress, and garnish with tomato aspic. Combine mayonnaise and chopped olives, and serve with salad.

TOMATO ASPIC III

2 Tbsp gelatin, soaked in ½ C cold water
1 quart tomatoes
2 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 slice onion
3 whole cloves
1 bay leaf
Pepper to taste

Cook together tomatoes, salt, sugar, onion, cloves, bay leaf, and pepper for 20 minutes. Strain and pour hot sauce over gelatin. Stir to dissolve. Refrigerate until firm.

Easter Pudding

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Dishes like this have fallen out of favor–but it’s nothing more than a meatloaf, right? I’ll bet it would make a danged good cold sandwich.

“Meat Dishes”—Hana Gajdoštíková, Czech National Cookbook (1998)

EASTER PUDDING

1 lb. pork shoulder meat, cut into small cubes
1 lb. smoked meat, cut into small cubes
Boiling salted water
6 eggs, separated, whites beaten stiff
1 lb. stale rolls, cut into small cubes, soaked in 1½ pints (3 C) stock (can use stock from cooking meats, above)
2 oz. yeast, soaked in 2 Tbsp milk with a pinch sugar, “leave to rise”
2 cloves garlic, mashed
Pepper, ground nutmeg, marjoram, salt, all to taste
1 bunch parsley, chopped fine
1 bunch chives, chopped fine
1 bunch young nettles, chopped fine

Cook pork and smoked meat cubes in boiling salted water. Drain. Mix together meats, soaked rolls, egg yolks, parsley, chives and nettles, add yeast mixture, add salt, pepper, nutmeg, marjoram and mashed garlic, fold in stiffly beaten egg whites, pour mixture into a greased pudding form and leave to rise about 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350˚. Bake pudding until tender.

Easter Nest Coffeecake

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Frost with confectioners’ icing, sprinkle eggs with candy decorettes, nest with green shredded coconut.

—America’s Favorite Recipes from Better Homes and Gardens (1966)

EASTER NEST COFFEECAKE

1 envelope active dry yeast, soaked in ¼ C warm water
½ C milk
¼ C shortening
¼ C sugar
1 tsp salt
1 C flour, sifted, plus an additional 2 C sifted (or enough for a soft dough)
1 egg, beaten slightly

Scald milk, stir in shortening, sugar, and salt, and cool to lukewarm. Add 1 C flour and beat smooth. Add yeast and egg, and beat well. Add additional flour, and knead dough until smooth and elastic on a floured surface, about 8 to 10 minutes, place dough in a greased bowl, turn once to coat all surfaces, cover, and let rise until doubled in a warm place, about 1 hour. Punch dough down and divide evenly into thirds. Cover and let rest 10 minutes. Shape one third of dough into 6 eggs, and place close together in center of a greased baking sheet. For nest, shape remaining 2 portions each into a 26-inch rope, twist together, and coil around eggs, sealing ends. Cover and let rise again until doubled, about 1 hour. Preheat oven to 375˚. Bake 15 to 20 minutes. Cool.

Easter Lily Cookies

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Remove pan from oven, place on oven door, and quickly shape cookies into lilies.

Ah, yeah. As a reminder, immediately running cold water over a burn is the way to go.

EASTER LILY COOKIES

1 C egg yolks
1 C sugar
½ tsp vanilla
Pinch salt
1 C flour
Sweetened whipped cream and cherries (for garnish, when ready to serve)

Preheat oven to 375˚. Beat egg yolks until light, then add sugar gradually, beating constantly. Add vanilla and salt, then stir in flour with a spoon. Drop batter onto greased baking tin and spread out, making 3-4 flat circles 2 ½ to 3 inches in diameter. Bake 10-13 minutes or until tinged with brown. Remove pan from oven, place on oven door, and quickly shape cookies into lilies. Serve filled with whipped cream and garnished with cherries.

Easter Lamb Sponge Cake

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We have a lot of baking equipment but we do not have a lamb mold. And I’m okay with that.

“Velikonoční Beránek”

EASTER LAMB SPONGE CAKE WITH ICING

1 C sugar
5 eggs, separated, whites beaten stiff, plus an additional 2 whole eggs
Juice, rind from ½ lemon
½ tsp vanilla
1 or 2 bitter almonds (insides of a peach pit), grated
2 ¾ C flour, sifted
Powdered sugar OR Icing

Preheat oven to 350˚. Mix together sugar, egg yolks plus additional whole eggs, and lemon juice and rind, and mix about 30 minutes. Add grated bitter almonds, and fold in stiffly beaten egg whites alternately with flour. Pour batter into a greased and floured lamb baking mold, and bake until browned and done. Sprinkle powdered sugar over lamb cake or ice with Icing.

ICING

1 egg white
6 Tbsp (heaping) powdered sugar
1 Tbsp lemon juice

Cream together egg white, powdered sugar, and lemon juice, and keep mixing until thick and smooth.

(Not Egg) Easter Eggs

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Another fun one for the kids!

EASTER EGGS

Makes 2

½ C sweetened condensed milk
¼ C brown sugar
½ tsp vanilla
1 C sifted confectioners’ sugar
Tiny candies, fruit (to decorate eggs)

Blend together milk and brown sugar thoroughly in top of double boiler (or in a saucepan), and cook over boiling water (or low heat) 4 minutes or until mixture is thickened. Remove from heat, add vanilla and confectioners’ sugar gradually, blending thoroughly, and form into eggs. Decorate eggs with tiny candies and fruit.

Easter Egg Salad

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OR what to do with Easter Eggs when Easter is over!

EASTER EGG SALAD

Serves 4

1 Tbsp salt, plus an additional 1 tsp
3 quarts boiling water
½ lb elbow macaroni
½ C salad dressing
2 Tbsp French dressing
3 drops Tabasco sauce (or more, to taste)
1 C cooked kidney beans, drained
3 hard-cooked eggs, diced
¼ C sweet pickles, chopped
Watercress

Combine 1 Tbsp salt, boiling water, and macaroni, and cook 8 minutes or until macaroni is tender. Drain and rinse macaroni. Combine salad dressing, French dressing, remaining 1 tsp salt, and Tabasco sauce, fold in kidney beans, eggs, pickles, and drained macaroni, and serve salad on beds of watercress.