If you’re lucky, you learn something every day! A few days ago I learned that DBA means Doing Business As. As of this morning, I am doing business as Old Schoolhouse Road Publishing. Cost $25 to file online. This process was not without incident which made me, once again, very glad I live in Mississippi.
The skinny: I started the process of registering on the Secretary of State’s web site– so just creating a user account and password. System kicked me out before I’d finished and told me not to try again. I called. Nice lady took the information and said she’d email me a temporary password. This took longer than I expected and by the time I saw the email, the password had expired.
Started all over again this morning by trying to “Contact Us” and got a 404 error. Clicked on “Staff” and got the list of SOS people, but no accompanying list, “if you’re having this problem, contact this person.” So I emailed the Secretary of State hisself, Michael Watson. Asked if he would forward the email to whomever. I got a reply in 13 minutes.
Phone call came in two minutes later.
Nice lady. You can tell she probably deals with people who have no idea what to do on a computer because she walked me through every step of changing my password.
There are a lot of things I understand. This is not one. Don’t you think that when one is writing about writing one’s written words should be grammatical?
This was yesterday, before we got an inch of rain that cooled things down. That’s a real LOL statement right there. This minute I’m having a dilemma. I have not had my sufficiency and fanciful of coffee yet. But the thought of hot liquids is not appealing. Time to switch to iced coffee.
The book formatting is coming along; I’m getting the hang of Word. I decided the book needed an index to the extra-book material (Missy’s malapropisms, Gilbert’s unattributed quotes, and the Old Things & Ways supplemental material).
I will fiddle with the subheading. I’m having real issues with Word’s spell check. I can kinda sorta see that foreign language phrases may come up. But qualm and quash?
Quite a while ago, I took an online class on book indexing. I have a completely filled notebook, and even bought the book! Who knew it would come in handy?
Here’s a question for all y’all. As you can well imagine, there are rules for indexing. The most fundamental is this:
There are two schemes to indexing, letter-by-letter and word-by-word. Letter-by-letter violates this fundamental rule, because it ignores the primacy of spaces. For example, if you look at the entries under “I,” word-by-word arrangement would be: I bid, I could, I would, It isn’t. I’ve arranged the index letter-by-letter because I am assuming that middle school kids have not yet been exposed to the rules of indexing. Does this sound reasonable to you? I also appreciate that grownups will be more likely to look at the index. But again, doesn’t letter-by-letter seem more intuitive, especially in an index that can be taken in with just a glance?
And yes. I have gone off into the weeds.
(I just corrected a mistake in the index. If you see others, please let me know!)
From one of the worst children’s books I’ve ever read, The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide (2003).
Does that look like a low ceiling to you?
I have first hand knowledge of what “walls covered in bookshelves” look like, and this ain’t it.
I feel sorry for kids today.
I did something I think I’ve done only once in the past, and that was to leave a review on Goodreads.
The only reason I didn’t give this book 1 star is because it does not have swear words. And if I’m not mistaken, industry standards for middle school books would require that it not, so that’s not saying much.
1. I understand that there are bad parents out there. If you strive to be a good parent, the only reason to encourage your child to read this is that he or she will perhaps give you a hug and thank you for being such a good parent. I am the mother of three (now grown up) kids and I cannot imagine treating one of them so differently than the others, even if the one was ill behaved. The premise is that the mom is newly divorced, and the one is having a hard time adjusting. Mom takes no personal responsibility for this. She only threatens to make him go “see someone” if he doesn’t shape up.
2. Absolutely buy this book if you want your kid to develop an ear for poor grammar. Or, buy the book and a red pencil and tell your kids to go underline anything that doesn’t sound right to their ear.
“It was a smallish library, with one huge desk in the center. On it was an open book and a pair of old-fashioned, round glasses… .”
If that sounds correct, rearrange the words of the second sentence. An open book and a pair of glasses was on it. Should be were. How does this get past an editor?
3. There are so many internal inconsistencies it’s mind boggling. Mom goes out, after the kids are in bed, to get milk and cereal. Leaves older sister in charge. [Very poor planning on Mom’s part but whatever.] Later, the kids hear “the rustling of bags downstairs as mother unpacked groceries.” She went to get milk and cereal! How hard would it have been to just change that to groceries?
4. Finally, and as with #1 I get that kids talk to their brothers and sisters in not nice language and push each other around. And I know I’m being very old fashioned here. But shouldn’t children’s books INSPIRE or at least encourage better behavior and vocabulary? Shut up. Crappier. Grabbing by the shirt. Just because you have one black eye doesn’t mean I can’t give you another.
Again with the book and the red pencil. What could they have said/done differently?
So lots of reasons to buy this book. None of them good.
Nothing much happening out in the good old Atlantic today. A good thing. It’s time to start checking out there every once in a while. It is getting on hurricane season.
Meanwhile, here on the farm we’ve had 6.5″ of rain this week. Mr. Big Food is not cutting any grass. And the regularly scheduled bush hogging isn’t going to happen anytime soon, either.
Oh! Here’s how the day started with commentary from all three of The Girls. Mr. Big Food heard on the television this morning there was a dam up around Oxford that in jeopardy of breaking, so I looked up the story.
The Lafayette County Fire Department is now telling people asked to evacuate their homes because of concerns about the Lake Tara Dam they can now go home.
I read those words to Mr. Big Food and he asked, “Is there any punctuation?” And I replied, “Yes. There’s a period at the end of the sentence.”
I then copied those words and texted them to the Girls.
Miss M: I can’t even read the whole thing but it’s bad. My head hurts.
Kat: Need. More. Commas.
Miss M: And better words.
And then a bit of commentary and then,
Kat: People evacuated because of concerns about the whatever dam can now go home, according to the fire department.
Me: People evacuated because of concerns over the Lake Tara Dam. Beat me to it.
Daughter C: “Go home,” Fire dept says of damn evacuees.
I’d thought I’d take a minute and bring you up to speed on the book– mine, not Missy’s, though she tells me her new book is coming along nicely. Mr. Big Food and I were talking about her new work just yesterday. He was very interested. He especially liked that she’s doing more research on the First Circle– which isn’t such a bad place– as that’s where all of the poor genius souls who lived before Christ reside in Hell.
We also chatted about the fact that while Missy herself works very, very hard on her books– you wouldn’t believe the amount of research she does, her desk is piled high with books– I myself find them very easy to write. All I have to do is come up with an idea, and she takes it from there. Unlike writing and publishing a real book, there’s no writing or publishing involved in Missy’s books.
I am currently engaged in minutia. I am going to work with a profession design firm for both the interior, and cover designs. To do that I must gather a whole bunch of things like ISBNs, get a copyright certificate, register with the Library of Congress, and so on. Write the About about me.
That stuff is not too bad. The pain in the neck part is that I work in Pages. The entire book is in Pages. They work in Word. I know if doesn’t sound like that big a deal, but in Word for Mac formatting is not revealed like it is in PC Word. So for example, if I wanted to proof and go looking for random extra spaces between words, in both Pages and PC Word, I’d hit the “show invisibles” button and go looking for two blue in-line dots (which indicate two spaces). Also, sections breaks don’t show up as blue lines.
This is all a pain if you are something of a perfectionist. Plus, if the Word doc isn’t near perfect, the designer is going to have to spend more time formatting. Time is money. I’ve already been told, and I knew this, that because of the call-outs (the Missy-isms, “As someone once said” quotes, etc.) the quote I’ll get will be above the “beginning at” level of service for the premium package. So everything I can do on my end to get it near perfect should help.
Also in the back of my brain is marketing. Missy has yet to reveal to me what strategies she used for her first best-seller.
Finally, I decided that the book needs a simple index.
Just getting started. I remembered I took that indexing on-line class a few years ago, and have a book on indexing. So I got out me notes and the text for reference. Again, the book formatter will do the actual thing, but if I can have it in decent, simple shape, I think it will help.
Cost-sharing: Looking at my notes, I see the cost of the index (by a professional indexer) should be shared between the author and publisher. Heehee. I’ll check with myself and see how I want to do that.
Oh! This might be a good time to ask you to hit the Tip Jar! It would be much appreciated.
I apologize for the hiatus I’ve been on recently. I’m learning a new business. There is a curve.
Meanwhile, how’s this for some serious grammar trivia? The interjection, “oh” is capitalized only at the beginning of a sentence, but “O” is always capitalized.
“Sure, Marica. What can I help you with?” Missy looked up from an enormous pile of open books on her desk.
“How’s your book doing?”
“Well,” said Missy, “I’ve still quite a number of researches to do, especially with regard to Purgatorio, but I’d say it’s coming along quite nicely, thanks for asking.”
“Ruff?” asked Rocky.
“Dear Friend, Marica asked how the book was doing and I answered,” Missy replied. “I don’t understand your confusion.”
“What are you talking about, Missy?” Marica echoed Rocky.
“My book. Tentatively titled– because I’ll not make that mistake again!– Veiled Virtues, though I haven’t yet worked out the Latin.”
“R.U.F.F.” Here we go again, thought Rocky. He had sorely hoped Missy’s attentions would be wholly consumed by Miss Missy’s School and her students, but apparently he was mistaken. “Ruff,” he said as he picked up his copy of The Oxford Book of English Detective Stories and headed into his box.
“Okay, Missy. Let me see if I have this straight. You’re writing another book?” Marica asked.
“Yes,” Missy replied. “Summer vacation affords me the opportunity to be very productive. Just like John.”
“That’s just wonderful! I’m looking forward to hearing more about it,” Marica said. “But I was asking about Vitiosus Canes, Virtutum Actus.”
“ruffruff,” Rocky grumbled from somewhere deep in his box. As he had said many times, he didn’t know what was wrong with plain spoken English. Vicious Dogs, Virtuous Acts sounded to him like a perfectly fine title. “ruffruff.”
“Oh my! How silly of me! I haven’t checked in a month or so. Let’s see,” Missy said as she opened her iDevise and put on her reading glasses. “My goodness! It’s doing wonderfully, Marica. Look at this! It’s #43 in Children’s Fantasy, right behind Where the Wild Things Are. Oh! And even better! It’s #15 in Children’s Classics, right behind The Hobbit. My Epic Novel is a classic!”
“Good heavens, Missy! You are in some amazing company!” Marica was truly impressed. She had, of course, read Missy’s book– and it was indeed an epic tale! But she thought not of the sort that would have garnered such popularity. “How did you do it?”
“RUFF!?!” Rocky was most impressed, too.
“Do what?”
“Sell so many books? Get so many readers? Engage so many people?” Marica asked. “What was your marketing strategy?”
“I’m not sure I had one, Marica. As you know my goal was not primarily to sell books, but rather to get my Epic Novel into the hands of as many of those poor dears who don’t care to read as possible. I would not have minded if only one-thousand copies had been sold, if those had been passed around one-hundred times,” Missy explained.
“But you must have done something! You self-published. Self-published books don’t find their way to the hands of thousands upon thousands of kids with no effort from the author at all,” Marica was astounded. Surly Missy had done something. “What’s your secret?”
“Well, Marica,” Missy sighed and thought for a moment. “I suppose the first thing I did was write a captivating tale that swept the dear children– and I imagine their grownups as well, as they are the ones buying the book– into a time and place wherein their souls could fly… ”
“It was a captivating tale,” Marica interrupted. “But once the book was written and published, what did you do?”
TO BE CONTINUED JUST AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT WHAT MISSY DID.
Over the many long years here I have written several decent posts .for Memorial Day. Today I’ll be picking and choosing from among them and reposting. For context, this is from last year when we were doing our Daily Readings. If you’re not familiar with The Man Without a Country, please do take the time to read it. It’s short– 76 pages beginning to end.
My first thought was that this was an odd choice for Memorial Day, even in 1917, 1922, and 1925 (when Pocket University Guide to Daily Reading was published). That infallible source has a decent plot summary. But what really gripped me– is that the right word?– was the Introduction to my crappy old copy of The Man Without a Country (1905).
And then I read it.
It’s a story of redemption. Sure. It’s fantastic– no one would even be tempted to believe it today. But back in the crappy olden days, people did. Perhaps because they wanted to. But they believed it nevertheless. It is not classic literature. It is a “story with purpose” as my Introduction says. But it’s just as worth reading this Memorial Day as it was ninety-five years ago.
Over the many long years here I have written several decent posts .for Memorial Day. Today I’ll be picking and choosing from among them and reposting. Here’s the first.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.
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Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}
